One of the worst feelings is to be miserable and not know why.  It could manifest itself in something like a bad mood or maybe even a despondant depression.   But either way its like walking in a fog.

We do our best, then, to figure out what is wrong. Is it wounded pride? Anger? Guilt?

A few weeks back I was feeling pretty low and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Eventually I realized that I was just angry at my life circumstance. So I repented of my anger and impatience, but that didn’t help.

And the realization hit me: the anger is a fruit of something deeper going on in me. I was angry for a bigger reason than just being disappointed in my life circumstance.

It was unbelief. I was angry because I didn’t trust that God was doing me good even though my life circumstance was not the way I wanted it. Not only was I doubting that God was doing me good, but I doubted that God was good.

Then the fog lifted. I was treating the symptoms instead of killing the sickness.

Maybe you’re miserable today. What is it then that you truly believe about God’s goodness towards you?

The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes
than seven men who can answer sensibly. (Proverbs 26:16)

Lazy people are usually experts in everything. You would think it would be the exact opposite.  They can’t finish what they start. They constantly make excuses. You would think that they would know they lack knowledge.  But instead they think they are quite intelligent and look down on others, even people smarter than them.

Why is this?  It’s hard to say, but here is one thought: it actually is their perceived intelligence that makes them lazy.  They would rather preserve their identity as intelligent people than to put their knowledge to action and find that it may be deficient.  It’s better to preserve intelligence than to test it out in the real world.

Whenever we self-identify as having a lot of intelligence we will feel like we  have to prove it.  And it’s better to not try and simply think ourselves intelligent than to risk and see ourselves for who we really are.

The apostle Paul saw his life best lived by being completely poured out.  At the end of his life there would be nothing left; he could, with confidence, say that he ran the race, he kept the faith.

What was he poured out for?  People’s faith in Jesus.  He would give his all, whether traveling or in prison, so that people’s faith would flourish.  His confidence in Jesus resulted in effort that left it all on the table.

Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. (Philippians 2:17).

The  implications of this statement show that your work is not fundamentally about what you accomplish, but what you tried to accomplish.  Our accomplishments are based on many other factors other than just our effort (timing, resources, reception, etc).  Paul ultimately died in a little hole of a cell in Rome while the churches he started were just getting off the ground, many of them with profound problems.  He could have despaired, but instead he had profound confidence at the time of his death — he wasn’t evaluating his life on his accomplishments, but that he gave all for Jesus and people.

And he knew that Jesus was going to take care of the rest.  So what about you?  Are you giving your all, knowing that Jesus is going to take care of the rest?

I heard the phrase “Die Empty” from Todd Henry about two weeks ago at the Accidental Creative Podcast.  It is one of his mantras.  I love it, so I am going to steal it.

We waste away when good desires lay inside of us and do not get out.  The world is full of authors who do not write, screenwriters who never craft a scene, actors who never audition, entrepreneurs who never start a business,  preachers who don’t preach.  And when we don’t begin we leave the power of the desire to poison our souls.

With this phrase in mind I have been meditating on Paul’s words in Ephesians 3:20-21:

20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

This is a beautiful phrase, but a completely surprising line of reasoning — that God is able to work abundantly through the power IN us.  Not outside of us.  But power within us.  Is God’s power for good in this world accomplished by getting the good things inside of us outside of us?  And when what is inside of us gets created is that is when God does immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine?

But what if that power within us never gets released?

Have you ever thought there would be a better way to run your office, or engage your industry?  But if you don’t speak up or take the risk to begin something, what becomes of that power within you?  It would seem that you won’t see God do breathtaking things, and you may be eaten alive by your desire.

The only remedy it seems, then, is to die empty.

What if you approached your effort not having anything to prove, but something to give?

Think of the weight you must bear when you have something to prove. Let’s say you think your effort should show that you are very intelligent. When someone doesn’t recognize your intelligence like you think they should you will feel slighted and angry. Or what about when you make a mistake? You will think it is a referendum on your intelligence.

For most people who think they’re intelligent they often assume things should come easy. That’s why they think their intelligent. But what if something doesn’t come easy? They may be devastated, finding themselves in the embarrassing situation where they thought too highly of themselves. Maybe they will just quit all together.

Yet, the problem is not that things are hard, or that people don’t recognize them for who they think they are. The problem is they’re using their effort to prove something about themselves instead of using their effort to give.

And this is a plague in churches. People tie their effort to proving their holiness, doctrinal correctness or leadership ability. When it is not recognized like they think it should be or they don’t receive the results “their holiness” deserves then they are embarrassed, angry, and full of blame — either to themselves, others, or God.

For where else but religion is there something to prove? But as Paul showed us in 1 Corinthians 15:10 that life with Jesus is different. His very beginning as an apostle was because of failure, or the grace of God in his failure. All Paul “proved” was that his righteousness and zeal were a complete zero when it came to Jesus. But he worked hard not because he had something to prove, but because deep down he knew that grace is what made him what he was.

And it is the same for you. Your gifts, talents, and energy are not something you have to prove your worth. You can pursue your best ambitions because you can say with Paul: “By the grace of God I am what I am.”

Ok I haven’t.  But the title should give us pause as a very odd statement.

But that is the essence of what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:10.  Paul says that he is the least of the apostles and shouldn’t even be called an apostle because he persecuted the church of God.  But because of grace he is an apostle.  And then he lets it fly: “I worked harder than any of them.”

Why is Paul saying that? I mean we name our kids after the apostles.  Why is Paul making this weird statement about working harder than any other apostle?

He is not comparing his work ethic to the other apostles to somehow make him look more important, but to highlight the crazy grace of God.  When it came to being an apostle Paul had no resume.

When Paul traveled around the Mediterranean I’m sure people would ask him why he had any right to teach them about Jesus.  What could Paul say?  There was no good reason he was an apostle except the grace of God.  He didn’t have anything to prove, because he already proved to be a failure when it came to Jesus.

But when Jesus rescued Paul he now had Jesus to give, without all the shackles and burdens of having to qualify himself for what he was doing.  All he could say was “by the grace of God, I am what I am.”  And that grace was so magnificent that it compelled Paul to work hard; not because he qualified himself, but because of God’s favor after he was disqualified.

Do you think its any different for us?