Advice From The Future
I have been in full-time, vocational ministry for almost a decade. If I could go back 10 years and give one piece of advice to my 22- year-old self here is what I would say:
Never seek the approval of religious people.
A religious person is almost impossible to please. They are motivated by correctness; being right. For a religious person, wrongness (as they perceive it) is dangerous. If love covers a multitude of sins, then fear will look for any transgression.
They feel incredibly righteous when they blindly harm you. Since you are the problem they must reject you, or belittle you. You are the bad guy and they are good. They congratulate themselves on how well they have behaved, all the while they are trying to make you pay for your failure, whether by fighting or withdrawing. They are unmerciful, because mercy is not their concern — purity is — and they think God has tapped them to call fouls as to what is pure and not pure.
They love those who love them, approve of those with whom they agree. They can not listen, they can only evaluate. Judgment is on their tongues, planks cover their eyes. Outwardly they are put together, but inwardly they rage. Lost people can stay lost; the found need a better church.
Why Seek This Approval?
Why would I seek the approval of these people? Because I was one of them. I wanted to be a Pharisee of Pharisees. I wanted religious people to see and celebrate my zeal for God, my knowledge of the Bible, my purity, the way God had gifted me. I wanted to be seen as part of the solution, not part of the problem.
But God, mercifully, showed me grave error. My righteousness was the problem, my goodness a filthy rag. Love is now the driving ethic, not purity — because it was love that put a pure man on the cross for the filthy — stained by sin and a damnable goodness.
Dave, I love this! I think that I would have needed to hear this about 15 years ago, though; before OBU and even before heading to Yosemite. What a great perspective. I could have focused my efforts in a much more needed direction at times if I’d not been seeking approval of the righteous. Such wisdom that I’ll have to share! I hope you’re doing well.
Found this via reddit. As one who was in the ministry for many years, I can attest to the power of this Advice From The Future!
I was part of a fundamentalist church that very much, without truly realizing it, fit the mold of “religious people.” The problem with pursuing purity, in and of itself, is two-fold:
1) A single problem permanently disables you … if you fall, in any fashion, then you are no longer suitable for God’s service, and
2) It actually, paradoxically, engenders a lack of purity. We are sinful creatures, and even after salvation we continue the habit and practice of sin. If we focus on one line of being “right” then our sin will, inevitably, manifest by being wrong.
The simplicity of a message back in time to yourself encapsulates all that you’ve learned at any given time. I often, while counseling, asked people what they would wish for if given three wishes. This thought performs a similar self-diagnostic.
The only modification I would make would be to say, “Don’t go into the ministry, or live out your ministry, based on the expectations of anyone else. Imagine you report directly to God each day and no one else around you is aware of your ‘job’.”
Thanks!
Yeah it is incredible to think how much energy is spent trying to please the unpleasable…how is Cali?