The blessing of marriage is oneness. As the bride in the Song of Solomon explains, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.”

Oneness is multi-faceted.

Oneness is physical: “One flesh” – marital, sexual intimacy; being naked and unashamed.

Oneness is psychological: Thinking like the other person thinks. A deep knowing about how a spouse processes life.

Oneness is emotional: Loving what the spouse loves, hating what the spouse hates. Grieving with those who grieve, rejoicing with those who rejoice.

Oneness is spiritual: Seeking the same God; both motivated by the things of God.

We can imagine, then, how much of a gift oneness is. For in every area of life, we are deeply hungry for oneness. When we don’t have oneness in any of these areas, dissonance develops and joy slips away.

This kind of oneness is possible with our spouses and future spouses! It takes sacrifice – laying aside our interests for the interests of our spouse; learning how they think, how they process things emotionally, what they want physically.

For when a man and a woman are mutually seeking the good of the other the fruit is sweet, because they are one.