Would I Be Obedient If I Wasn’t A Pastor?

This is a very important question for me to ask.  Being a pastor means that some disobedience can mean losing your job.  If you cheat on your wife when you work outside of the church rarely do you lose your job.  If you’re a pastor it’s a given.

So I need to specifically be looking at my heart…am I being faithful to my wife because it preserves my position or because I love my wife and Jesus was faithful to me?  If it is the former, then obedience is out of self-preservation, not love.

Do I give to the church financially because it would be embarrassing if I didn’t?  Do I guard my mouth out of fear of leadership repercussions or because I don’t want to tear anyone in my church down?  Do I read my Bible because I need something to preach about or because I genuinely want to meet with God?

You might be thinking, “This is a classic example of over-thinking.  Why does it matter why a pastor does the right thing, instead of just doing the right thing?”

Because doing the right thing for self-preservation is a soul-destroying, God-dishonoring endeavor. For me, “obedience to preserve my position” still does not shrink the tumor of my selfishness, it just hides it.  And obedience becomes about selfish reward (God must bless me) instead of love for God and others.

When I do whatever it takes to preserve my position it proves nothing about my holiness.  If my success calls me to be obedient, then I will begrudgingly follow.  That’s why motive matters — love is at stake.  My obedience can only last with God and the good of others as its object, what the Paul calls “the most excellent way.”